2/3/2012

Dear Diary,

In an effort to rally support for hubby's campaign, I went to Hollywood this week to commune with my idols -- the Hollywood elite. To my dismay, I ended up in Inglewood! That's right, the land of Dr. Dre, gangbangers and generic urbanites.

Yes, I know I grew up in Chicago and I'm proud to be a black woman, but I try to avoid the hood whenever I go to L.A. I have a whole photo album of my past trips cheesin' it up with movie stars, musical artists, producers, and other important people. I had never set a foot inside a real, urban community in Los Angeles before. I mean, what's the point? To become a criminal statistic? No, thanks.

Barack and I may beg for $5 from regular folks by email, but when I go to Cali, I prefer the Sunset Boulevard kind of folks with Rodeo Drive money.

Barack feels similarly, that's why when he takes his bus tours across America he mostly stays out of those hardened urban areas. They are just too cynical --- and well, they're supposed to vote for us by default. 

So, why oh why, did Arianna Huffington have to open her big mouth! She had the audacity to tell me that I should not leave L.A. without visiting real people who are struggling. Hello? I see these people on T.V.  Barack and I listen to Jay Z on our Ipods. We know all about the drop, pop and lock and various other urban sundries. What more do we need to know except that we have these people in our back pocket on election day.

Nevertheless, Arianna does write the Bible, a.k.a the Huffington Post, which writes so favorably about Barack and me. So, I decided to give her suggestion a try. It was a hit!

I got so much publicity from going to the grocery stores in Inglewood and showcasing my dramatic and sympathetic facial expressions to show I cared about the people there. This is bound to lead to more TV work!  Let the record show, however, that these people did NOT give us heaps of campaign moolah like darling Hollywood notables Harvey Weinstein, Quincy Jones, and $2 million-dollar-contributor Jeff Katzenberg! Now, that's why I go to L.A.!

Still, the experience was exhilarating. I feel kind of great! Daring even. I feel like I've got my street cred back!

Note: This article is intended as a political satire and is not meant to represent an actual diary entry by First Lady Michelle Obama.